Nick Morgan, Public Words

5 last-minute gifts for speakers

Is someone in your life a public speaker, and does that make the gift-giving a challenge?  And have you perhaps procrastinated?  Here are 5 items no speaker should be without – as well as the public speaking justification for them.  With online buying and overnight shipping, you should still be able to get most of them under the tree on time. 

1.  An elegant leather portfolio – because you should look as cool as the President. 

With one of these, you can walk to the front of the room looking as debonair as the President of the United States giving the State of the Union Address.  Speech notes go in there, along with a back up DVD or USB drive of your slides and video, as well as that check the meeting planner gives you for a job well done.

2.  An iPad 2 loaded with speaking apps – because great speakers travel light.

I had this on last year’s list, and the apps have gotten even better, especially since you can get iMovie on an iPad 2 and create quick videos to dazzle your audience.  Apps will help you keep time, make your notes easy to read, and even turn the iPad into a teleprompter.  You can run your slides (and videos) from the iPad, and even use it as a white board.  And it all weighs a whole lot less than a laptop.  

3.  2 (or 2 dozen) Flip Cams – because it’s always about improving your craft. 

Buy a few of these before they disappear.  These handy cameras are the best things going for recording yourself and the audience (so you can see how you’re coming across).  That’s why you need two.  With two dozen, if you've got the budget, you can hand them out to the audience and get them to video you.  Then edit the various takes into a great show reel of your speaking.

4.   The King’s Speech DVD – because it makes the case for speaking.

Not only does this movie showcase a couple of great speech moments, and the best argument ever for the importance of public speaking, it also inspires speakers of any level to do better.  Because we can all always improve.  And it’s a good story, too.   

5.  A super stylish speaking outfit – because you should look and feel great.  

Don’t order this one online (it’s too late and too iffy); instead, hand your recipient a card giving him or her a shopping trip to get fitted out for the best suit you both can afford.  For anyone who does regular public speaking, a knockout outfit is essential.  When we feel like a million bucks, we stand as if we’re worth it, and the resulting confidence is great for the speech. 

With these gifts, you’ll make that special speaking someone in your life far snazzier, more confident, and better at the job.  Props and style do make a difference.  Happy holidays!

Morgan’s 10 Holiday-inspired Rules for Public Speaking - Especially When Things Go Wrong

Over the years I’ve learned that there are no cosmic rules in Public Speaking.  There are answers to challenges and speaking problems – and then better answers.  But the mistakes most people make come from silly rules they’ve learned long ago, half-remembered, and applied incorrectly.

That said, there are tips that, judiciously applied, will make your life better as a public speaker particularly when responding to speaking crises.  And particularly around the holidays, when you may find yourself giving the occasional last-minute speech, or toast, or standing in for someone who is unable or unwilling to hold forth.  The opportunities for things going wrong seem to multiply at such times.   

So here, in the spirit of holiday giving, and in no particular order, are some of my favorite secrets from a quarter-century in the public speaking business as a coach and a speaker myself.  Most of these I’ve learned the hard way, through mistakes, embarrassment, and pain – some of it mine.   

1.  Don’t take on a technical problem alone.   If something goes wrong, and you think you alone have to fix it, the seconds it takes to do so will seem like eons.  And if you can’t fix it, you’re toast.  Instead, bring the audience in on it.  “Are there any computer experts in the room?”  That sort of question will get you at least 3 engineers dying to help.  Then, it’s everyone’s problem, not just yours.

2.  If the audience is much smaller than expected, throw away your script and make it a conversation.  Give a brief version of your talk and then go to Q n A.  Talk it up, say, “this gives us a chance to get into a deeper discussion about what’s really on your minds.”  Which leads me to….

3.  Have a 3- and 20-minute version of your talk ready to go, in addition to the long one.  You will run into the situation where your host comes up to you and says, “we’re running a half-hour late and the chef can’t hold the soufflés.  You’re going to have to get done in 30 minutes.”  This is your chance to be gracious and play the hero.  Smile and wrap it up in 20, leaving 10 for Q n A.

4.  Ignore the negative people in the audience.  Play instead to the nodders and smilers.  Most speakers want to be loved, and so they will inevitably try to win over the few negative audience members.  This is the wrong choice, because of those things we have in our heads called mirror neurons.  They fire when we see someone near us experiencing an emotion, especially someone the speaker is focusing on.  So if you fixate on the negative people, the folks around them will feel the same negative emotions.  You’ll actually increase the negative feeling in the room.  Instead, find the nodders and smilers and focus on them – you’ll soon win everyone over.  Which leads me to….

5.  If you have a heckler who won’t shut up, go to him and stand facing the same way as he is sitting, right next to him or just behind him.  This will silence all but the most psycho of hecklers.  And you won’t have to say a word. 

6.  Don’t save Q n A to the end.  Instead, take questions 20 and 40 minutes in, then wrap up, take a few more questions, and finish with a strong close.  The reason for this is that attention spans last about 20 minutes, so it’s a good way to refresh your audience.  And finishing with a strong close means that the last thing your audience hears won’t be some random question, but your stirring conclusion. 

7.  If someone asks a question, the most important response is to repeat the question, clarifying it for the whole audience.  This gives you a little more time to come up with a good answer.  And it means that the whole audience will be involved.  And it flatters the questioner.   If you can (correctly) identify the emotion underlying the question, the audience will find you particularly insightful, no matter what answer you provide.  “What I hear you saying is that you’re frustrated by the lack of organic yak milk available in grocery stores today, is that correct?”

8.  Acknowledge the elephant in the room.  Immediately.  Whatever goes wrong, the audience will be on your side and help you solve it, if you acknowledge the problem right away.  If you don’t, the audience will stop listening to you and start wondering about the problem – how long will it last, how bad is it, how is it like other similar problems – etc.  You’ll lose them. 

9.  Finish a little bit early.  No audience ever wished that a speaker ran long, and many applaud a shorter talk.  Especially as the day goes on, audience’s attention spans wane.  After dinner, and with drinks, you shouldn’t talk for more than 12 minutes, max. 

10.  Close with “thank you” – and wait for the audience to applaud.  A ‘thank you’ signals the end of a speech.  So, if they do applaud – and they will, if you say ‘thank you’ – then acknowledge the applause and wait it out.  Don’t leave with an audience still clapping furiously – they’ll feel cheated.  Clapping is an audience’s way of giving something back to the speaker.   Let them do it. 

What have you learned?  What are your hard-won secrets for success under duress?  Again, in the spirit of the season, I’ll give away a free copy of my first book to the runner-up, and a free copy of my latest to the winner of the best tips you post in the comments or send to me via email. 

Who Are the Best and Worst Communicators of 2011?

Once again, my fellow communication coaches Decker Communications have published a “10 best and worst communicators for 2011,” and the list is fascinating both for those it includes and those it doesn’t, as well as what it says about us and where we are as a nation.  Most of the 10 worst are there because they deceived the public in some way, or broke trust with their constituents.  Most of the 10 best are there because they are perceived to be authentic, and valuable, members of society. 

So I celebrate 7 of Decker’s top 10:  Steve Jobs (of course), Howard Schultz (OK), Chris Anderson (of TED, absolutely), Virginia Rometty (sure), Lady Gaga (why not?), Warren Buffet (please, no scandal), and Christine Lagarde (what a relief).   But what about Hillary Clinton, who has done a consistently solid and forthright job as Secretary of State – always a nearly impossible assignment?  Or Jon Stewart, who has single-handedly kept the liberal point of view alive and funny?

And I join with Decker in throwing gratuitous mud at 9 of the 10 worst:  Anthony Weiner (of course), Bryan Harrison and Bill Stover of Solyndra (sure), Charlie Sheen (no question), the Murdochs (yes), Rick Perry (certainly), Brian Moynihan (OK), Greg Mortenson (sadly), the Commissioners (of the NBA, NFL, and MLB, yup), and Leo Apotheker (OK).  But what about Herman Cain, who taught us anew that deception and stonewalling don’t work, ever?  Or Mitt Romney, who has yet to give us an authentic moment on the campaign trail?  Or Newt Gingrich, who is a brilliant communicator, but doesn’t know when to stop?   

What’s more interesting to me is what the list tells us about ourselves and our concerns.  So, without further ado, are Morgan’s Reflections on the Best and Worst Lists of 2011.

It’s a time for authenticity, even if it’s angry authenticity.  When will our leaders learn that faking it just doesn’t cut it any more?  It’s obvious, of course, in the political world, where political futures get decided in a heartbeat because the politician in question fails to be authentic when it counts.  But it’s also clear in the business world, where authenticity has a clear and powerful effect on the proverbial bottom line – for good, with someone like Steve Jobs, or for ill, with someone like Leo Apotheker.  That's why I wrote about authenticity in Trust Me -- it's real, and real important. 

Transparency is the only option.  Get used to it.  Of course, we communication professionals have been saying it forever, but leaders continue to stonewall in the face of accusations of every conceivable kind.  If Dominique Strauss-Kahn didn’t seal the deal, Herman Cain must have done.  Someone saw.  Someone remembers.  Someone has already posted it on YouTube, for heaven’s sake.  Come clean!

You get one chance to make an impression.  Once again, this is even more true now, thanks to the attention deficit we all operate under.  We’ll give you one shot, if you have a fascinating story to tell, but don’t expect us to take the time to listen to a second one.  Once your “narrative” is established in the public mind, it’s all the labors of Hercules combined to shift that narrative.  Herman Cain is now and forever the womanizer.  Rick Perry is now and forever the brain freeze guy.  And so on. 

Sex and violence still sell.  It’s difficult to overstate how base, and how polarized, our public discourse has become.  We pay attention to the Republicans for their tawdry scandals and accusations.  We vent our fury at President Obama for not single-handedly improving the economy, when that’s really up to the thousands of business decisions made by us and our business leaders every day.  And we miss, therefore, the hundreds of heroes that daily do wonderful work, help people everywhere, and change the world for the better. 

The really interesting communications are going on outside the US.  While we’re busy whining about the economy and our political leaders’ embarrassing missteps and inability to get along, the rest of the world is forging ahead in some wonderful and terrifying ways.  Aung San Suu Kyi, The Arab Spring, Gaddafi, Putin and the decline of Russia, Angela Merkel, and the indefatigable Sarkozy, David Cameron, the British Pillsbury Doughboy – the real communication excitement, both good and bad, wasn’t here in the US in 2011, it was elsewhere in the world.  We’d better stop complaining and start doing once again what we do best – invention, optimism, and open-handedness.

Here’s to a communications recovery in 2012!

There are no mistakes: How jazz can help public speakers

If you’re a public speaker you live some intense moments of your life in the limelight, on stage, in front of an audience – and you know what it is to make mistakes.  We all react differently to them.  For some of us, mistakes are so terrifying a prospect that it takes all the joy out of the moment.  And we agonize about them for hours – weeks – years – afterwards.  For others, mistakes are merely the cost of doing business.  And for still others, mistakes are opportunities. 

Stefon Harris, an accomplished jazz performer on the vibraphone, gives a spirited explanation of what mistakes mean to jazz performers in a recent TED.com talk.  I highly recommend the talk both for some great music and a wonderful insight into the nature of error.  Stefon says, “There are no mistakes,” in jazz, and I think those of us who live in the public speaking world should embrace his attitude.  There are no mistakes.

I spent years as an actor, and doing Improv, and while actors believe in mistakes (fluffing lines, missing an entrance, botching a cue), Improv people don’t.  Everything that happens in Improv is simply grist for the mill.  As soon as you let go of the idea of right and wrong, you start loosening up and getting good at Improv.  The attitude again is liberating for public speakers.

The audience doesn’t know what you haven’t said.  So don’t obsess about getting every word or phrase exactly right according to some text, or to some idea of perfection.  Just deliver your message as best you can, with passion, to the audience in front of you.  In the end, it’s about the audience, not about you anyway.   

Stefon’s other insights from the improvisational world of jazz:

1.  It’s all about the present.  Everyone tells us to be in the moment – our yoga teachers, our life coaches, even the Dalai Lama.  Stefon says jazz musicians have to be in the moment because there’s so much going on, you can’t possibly worry about the past or stress about the future.  Speakers take note, and focus on the moment.  

2.  Leading is about influence – and influence is about listening.  Stefon demonstrates the difference between coming into a session and insisting on your musical ideas no matter what anyone else says, and listening.  If you listen, then you’re inclined to pull ideas from the people around you, and they’re far more likely to follow your lead when the time comes.  With enthusiasm.  Audiences need the same treatment.     

3.  Good music comes from awareness and acceptance.  You’ve got to be aware of your fellow musicians, and your audience, and you accept what comes at you, so that you can turn it into music.  The same attitude helps public speakers deal with the inevitable differences in the setting, the audience, and the moment. 

4.  No micromanaging.   If you are rigid and uncompromising, your fellow musicians will get turned off.  If you let everyone else have their say, you’ll be listened to more respectfully when your turn comes.  In the same way, speakers need to work with each audience, and treat it with the respect that unique collection of individuals deserves. 

Of course public speakers have a road map in their heads (and Power Point slides on their computers) about where they want their speeches to go.  But if we can relax a little about the precise road we take, and allow the moment to dictate direction to us, then just like a jazz musician, we can find serendipity in each unique occasion. 

 

 

Embarrassed about being embarrassed? Don’t be. Embrace your humanity.

Dacher Keltner studies embarrassment, that moment when you feel, as he says, in a recent interview in the Boston Globe, “This is the worst moment of life. I have just given a talk with my zipper down, or I’ve just called this guy by the wrong name, or I farted in my yoga class.” (You can see the full interview here: http://b.globe.com/vmsB5W.)  What he’s learned is surprising, and has an important lesson for public speakers and communicators everywhere.

What happens when we get embarrassed is that we feel shame for the initial faux pas, then we blush, and then we get embarrassed that we’re showing signs of being embarrassed.  There’s a double jeopardy going on, especially if we think everyone has seen the blush as well as the initial incident.  And so the moment feeds on itself. 

Especially in a public setting, it can be difficult to get back on track, as your mind returns to the incident, and the blush, again and again.  One of my most embarrassing moments as a speaker (out of many) came a number of years ago when I was presenting in the UK for the first time.  I had some videos to show (this was the VHS era) and I couldn’t get the videos to work.  The audience was mostly engineers and IT experts, and it didn’t take them long to sort out the problem:  the incompatibility of the US and UK video formats.  The embarrassment came when I realized that the audience realized that I had been completely unaware (until that awful moment) that there were different formats.  How could I be so stupid, so clueless, so unaware?  I blushed, and for the rest of the talk replayed in my head the moment of my realization, and my ignorance.

Afterwards I did the only possible thing:  I repaired to the bar and downed a few glasses of Guinness, accompanied by members of the audience who were only too glad to toast my ignorance.

It turns out I shouldn’t have worried so much.  What Keltner has found is that embarrassment displays indicate the overall goodness of the “embarrassee” – and the witnesses know this.  So when we witness you being embarrassed, we like you better, trust you more, and are more likely to cooperate with you. 

In short, being embarrassed means that you’re human, and we like you better for it.  So don’t dread those moments of embarrassment as a speaker or a communicator – they’re doing good things for you with your audience. 

How do you turn an ordinary presentation into a powerful story?

How do you take an ordinary presentation about 3Q profits or the S-17 update and turn it into a powerful story? And why would you want to go to that effort; is it worth it?

Let’s deal with the second question first. Our minds remember stories, especially stories with emotions attached, much better than they remember lists, or even ideas. Our brains are constructed that way; something happens to us, and it hurts, or feels good, or moves us, or makes us deliriously happy, and so we remember it. Events stick. The emotions associated with them make them stick. Facts, lists, ideas, theories, and so on do not.

So, yes, it’s worth it to turn a presentation into a story, because you’ll greatly increase the chances that people remember what you say. A CEO who gives us a rational argument for increasing profits, backed up with all sorts of numbers, is liable to put us to sleep. He certainly is not likely to get us to put extra effort into the workday to make those profits happen. If, on the other hand, he links our efforts (somehow) to finding the Holy Grail, or beating the Evil Empire, or winning one for the Gipper, we're far more likely to remember – and act – upon what he's saying.

The question is, how do you do it? Once you understand the basics of powerful stories, you’ll get how to transform your presentation into one. Here’s how it works:  http://bit.ly/tRD7QN.